• How to Spatchcock a Turkey

    Step One: Argue with your wife about how this was her idea in the first place and you are absolutely not going to agree to Spatchcock the turkey on Thanksgiving’s Eve, no matter what that damn word means. Grump about this for at least a full morning while your wife nods and grunts (lady-like, mind you) at you absentmindedly and pats your shoulder several times. Step Two: Accept that your Spatchcocking of the turkey was always inevitable.  Lean into this and the additional inevitability that you are probably going to do a worse job at this task than you’ve ever done at any task previously, that one time in Science…